WELCOME TO WEEK TWO-CORE MINDFULNESS
Like I stated last week, each week will start with a focus activity. Again the purpose of the focus activity is to concentrate(focus)
on the one thing with one of your senses. These week I chose a scented candle. I had a lot of thoughts (about this week, my
birthday coming) but I was able to let them go. However, I did get stuck and a bit frustrated that I couldn’t smell
it well. In a case like that, the best thing to try is to smell what you can and let that emotion/thought just float away.
DIARY CARD REVIEW
This week was a very challenging week for me. I had major problems with suicide thoughts, self injury, and emotions.
Let’s first talk about how to fill in a diary card. If you have been in DBT groups or individual my card may differ
from yours. Each group leader/therapist prefers a different type of card.
My card is mostly based on Linehan’s (See Linehan WB p. 32). The one major exception is that I have a place for triggering
events. I think this makes anaylsis a little more thought provoking so I like to include it. At some point, I think I’ll
put up a behavior chain page and when we get to the Emotion Regulation section you will understand behavior chains a little
better. However, in a very short statement, we want to look for TRIGGERS ( the internal (thoughts) and external events) that
make us act and feel in a possible unproductive manner. We can then connect what skills we can used or could have used to
lessen the impact of the triggers.
RATING
If you have ever gone in for a psychiatric evaluation, or even a pain evaluation, they always ask you how you feel on a
scale. That’s basically what the first numbers are. The second group is how you actually acted on a scale. Before starting
a Diary Card, in my Tinley Park group my therapist had us fill out a sheet for what each number meant. For example, my self
injury sheet would look like this:
1-No thoughts about or urges to injure
2-Thoughts in back of head
3-Thoughts are actively present
4-Began to act on thoughts, such as buying razor, making fist, etc.
5-Engaged in Self Injury
This is very helpful to try to evaluate where you are.
O.K., since we really have only done a small portion of one skill. I’ll show how it could have been applied to a
situation this week and how I did use it this week.
On Tuesday, which was the worst day of my week (probably of the last few months). I was at work and just getting over a
MAJOR bout with the stomach flu I became very hungry. I got up to get a snack and my supervisor/BF (don’t ask, we are
learning skills, not evaluating life choices), threw a complaint(a legal document on my desk) and told me look it over. I
said that I really needed to eat first and walked off. O.K., so this is the first TRIGGER. I felt like I was being disrespected
and beginning to get upset. I came back from my snack and began preparing the client for trial. However, I soon found that
she was obviously lying to me and she began to roll her eyes. TRIGGER 2. I called over supervisor and used our secret word
which basically means that I’m having problems and cannot handle the client. However instead of taking the client, he
just leaned over and tried to solve it from there. TRIGGER 3. I lost it completely I went into a complete rage, I’ll
spare you the gory details, but basically I quit my job (I’m still employed now, but calling the Big Boss was not good)
and caused a huge scene. Now, a TRIGGER 4 was also present, which was that I had not taken my medication for four days due
to the flu and basically had nothing in my system. Here’s another tip for you, don’t skip your medication. I know
it sucks, but at least for me, I have a hard time functioning without it.
O.k. How could we have used WISE MIND here?
Well, Wise Mind is the intersection of emotional and rational mind. My emotional mind was in complete control and I had
no rational mind at that point. Using wise mind, I could have recognized that I was angry, but using rational mind, I could
have focused on the task at hand. Thus the intersection.
On Friday, I was more successful using skills. A time that I used Wise Mind was when I had a client who refused to sign
the consent form (to get help that day), and then after all my work, decided he didn’t want to due the project. At that
point, my supervisor and me switched clients.
O.k; so we have TRIGGER 1 which was basically a non-appreciation of work. The client then switched over to my supervisor.
The client then stated that I was a bad attorney and he was so glad that he got the supervisor who actually knew the law.
TRIGGER 2. That was a major TRIGGER. However, right away I recognized the triggers and began to use wise mind. It is very
important to recognize triggers so you can put your skills in place. So I recognized in my emotional mind that I felt bad,
but at the same time, but my rational mind recognized that this man was not really relevant to my current task and had some
emotional problems of his own. I was only shaken up a little and I was able to keep on working.
Now, there are MANY other skills that could have been used for the first situation and MANY skills I did use for the second
situation. However, for now let’s just stick to what we have learned.
YOU SHOULD TAKE THE TIME NOW TO LOOK BACK AT YOUR CARD. FIRST, DID YOU DO IT? THAT’S THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS LEARNING
DBT. SECOND? HOW WERE YOUR RATINGS? WERE THERE SITUATIONS WHERE YOU COULD HAVE USED WISE MIND (OR OTHER SKILLS IF YOU ALREADY
KNOW DBT) AND DIDN’T? DID YOU USE SKILLS? WHAT KIND OF TRIGGERS DID YOU FACE?
HOMEWORK
2. Describe a time that you have been in emotional mind and a time you were in reasonable mind and this caused you problems.
Describe how wise mind may have made a difference in the outcome of the situation.
I’m going to talk about rational mind first. I tend to be stone faced and cold. My example is one day when I was
at work, I had a Cancer patient I was doing a motion to extend stay for (trying to get her more time to move out of apartment).
However, as she described her situation, I showed no empathy, just continued with my motion. Eventually, this lead to her
becoming very upset and going to the waiting room and causing a scene.
If I would have only shown some empathy, but at the same time continued to work. The whole scene could have been avoided.
O.k., trying to get away from work. Just today, my bf overslept and called an hour after he was supposed to be there. I
completely went into emotional mind and told him to not even bother coming over. However, if I was to use Wise Mind, my rational
mind would accept that sometimes people sleep through their alarm clock and yet still recognize that it was o.k. to be mad
at him.
Let’s get started with this week’s lesson.
WISE MIND
Last week we left off with the definitions of emotional and rational mind. So what is this Wise mind thing anyway.
Well, let’s start with Linehan:
WISE MIND "is the integration of emotion mind and reasonable mind. You cannot overcome emotion mind with reasonable mind.
Nor can you create emotions with reasonableness. You must go within and integrate the two."
© Linehan, WB, p. 66
Wise mind is the intersection of the two. Wise mind is the TRUTH of the situation.
This example may mean nothing to you, but it’s how I think about it.
In the beginning of the TV show the X–Files you have two characters. Mulder and Scully.
Mulder is the emotional mind. He is the one who believes everything is paranormal. Do we hate Mulder for this? No, but
it clouds the TRUTH. Not everything in the world is supernatural.
Scully is rational mind. She believes that everything can be explained by science. We don’t hate Scully either.
Mulder and Scully have been unsuccessful in finding the TRUTH. However, by putting Mulder and Scully together, we have
created a wise mind and can find the truth of the situation.
Similarly, we shouldn’t hate our emotional mind or our rational mind. Only by embracing both can we find the truth
and find our WISE MIND.
Linehan describes wise mind as similar to intuition. She states "It is knowing that is more than reasoning and more than
what is observed directly. If has qualities of direct experience; immediate experience, immediate knowing; understanding the
meaning, significance, or truth of an event without having to analyze it intellectual." © Linehan, WB, p. 32,
Wise Mind is what is right and true in a situation. As Linehan has admitted herself, DBT is based a lot on Eastern Philosophy.
My Therapist in St. Louis did some work with me in Eastern Philosophy. WISE MIND is what the monks have. They can see a situation
clearly. They have found peace. Something that I think most borderlines struggle with. Have you ever heard asked someone how
they could possible know something? And they have responded, they just know. That’s Wise Mind. When you are able to
see a situation clearly without your emotions ruling you or your intellect ruling you, but having both. Don’t feel bad
if you have never experienced Wise Mind. I’m not sure I have totally experienced WISE MIND completely either. And it
takes a lot of practice. It has a lot to due with just trusting your judgment. I know that I struggle with this.
As you have probably guessed already, I’m into horses a lot. Now, the horse doesn’t really have the intellect
but I think this is a good demonstration to show what WISE MIND might look like. I actually give you two. One with me. One
with a horse.
I was trail riding a couple of weeks ago at DANADA equestrian center. Sorry, they help save mustangs. I was on this huge
Perchoen (a very tall draft horse, kind of like a Clydesdale, but white) and our trail leader decided to take a VERY steep
hill. I doubt that Crystal (my horse) had ever been down the hill befor), but she made her way down the hill (actually, all
of the horses eventually did). How did she know where to step and how to move her body without falling or knocking me off?Simple
instinct. If she was a person, that would be Wise Mind.
I also had an experience at Palos Hills riding stable. I was on a mixed small horse named King Arthur, who had begun to
pick up some bad habits. Just as we moved into the canter (like a run), he decided to buck. I stayed on him and pushed him
forward. I had never been taught how to stay on a bucking horse, nor have I ever been on a bucking horse. However, my emotional
mind was there with fear and my rational mind remembered all of skills I had learned (feet down, tight rein, find your balance).
I believe at that minute I was in wise mind.
How do we know we are in wise mind? At first, just practice trying to find your balance between emotions and rational thinking.
Don’t worry about whether what you’re doing is actually WISE MIND. As borderlines, I think the most important
thing is finding a balance in our life (incidentally, when I’m on a horse is probably the only time that I actually
experience Wise Mind without actually thinking about how to balance a situation).
Let’s review this skill
EMOTIONAL MIND-WHEN EMOTIONS ARE IN CONTROL
RATIONAL MIND-WHEN YOUR REASONABLE MIND IS IN CONTROL
WISE MIND IS THE INTERSECTION OF THE TWO
WISE MIND IS SOMETIMES CALLED INTUITION OR BEING CENTERED
WISE MIND TAKES A LOT OF PRACTICE
BEING IN WISE MIND WILL HELP US DEAL WITH EVERYDAY TRIGGERS
Give yourself a pat on the back. We have just finished the first skill.
Homework
1.What does wise mind mean to you? Describe a time you have experienced Wise Mind.
2. PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. Try to find situations this week where you can use Wise Mind.
3. Diary Card
I hope you have found this information useful, next week we are going to at least start the "what" skill.
END WEEK TWO
